Say Goodbye Self Sabotage

Women are the worst self–saboteurs and this often stops us from reaching our full potential.

What exactly is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen through our thoughts and actions.” 

I want to be honest with you and share, self-sabotage has visited me today before I put pen to paper for this blog and I can share with you that self-sabotage has regularly met me many times in my life and career. I know self-sabotage has held me back at work and for that reason, the topic is very close to my heart. I cared too much about what others thought and I can clearly see how it limited me from taking action and moving forward. It was so bad at times I would even say it paralysed me and kept me stuck. In my corporate days I would hold back from sharing my input because I would sabotage myself telling myself my message was not landing or I would just sound plain old stupid.

Sadly, Self-sabotage can come along at any time at work, usually at times when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, someone or something will trigger you in a meeting making you question your worth, value or the contribution you had hoped to bring. You may find yourself comparing yourself to others causing self-sabotage to have a field day and go into overdrive, you may find it telling you that you are not as intelligent as others. My clients tell me that they self sabotage in the boardroom asking themselves if their message is landing or are they clever enough to make an impact or even be in their job in the first place.

Managing self sabotage takes work and effort, unfortunately it won’t stop on its own, if I am honest I am not sure it ever stops but the good news is with practice and awareness we can limit the impact self-sabotage can cause to our progression and growth.

So, why do we sabotage ourselves?

It usually stems from our past self – a vulnerable time where we weren’t emotionally mature enough to figure out the world around us, we may have got hurt by comments and actions from those around us including close family or friends. These comments or events make us believe things about ourselves that were never reality.

Self -sabotage is the judgmental voice telling you it’s too hard to go for that promotion at work because you’re not experienced enough, you’ll only embarrass yourself by trying, it’s better that you stay “safe” and recoil back to where you are today- it will be safer for you. Sound familiar?

The rational side of us knows that the negative dialogue of self-sabotage is not true. Managing self-sabotaging behaviours is about prioritising what you really want from your life and career and taking time to take imperfect action against what you want. One of the best ways to prove self-sabotage wrong is to make small steps of progress, bit by bit your self-sabotage will see you trusting yourself, it will see you are ‘safe’ and it will become more silent. The evidence of your progress will prove it wrong.

You deserve to feel your best and to have the confidence to proceed to achieve what you really want in your career. You have worked so hard to get where you are and your voice deserves to be heard; here are some of my top tips and reminders for tackling self-sabotage.

 As a serial self-saboteur in my life, I know these tips can help you too. Take action, try these tips because I don’t want your self-sabotage to be in control any longer……

Have a success jar, this is a good one!

Keep track of all your achievements to date no matter how small – the little wins pave the way for the bigger ones. It’s important to acknowledge all praise and achievements, when I say all I mean ALL, even the stuff you think is not relevant, it’s all relevant! Look back on these successes when you are having a rubbish day and your self sabotage is trying to hold you back. PS, I had to do this recently with my own coach because my sabotage was starting to rear its ugly head.

Having confidence in your abilities is a good thing

Telling people about your successes and celebrating them will make this feel more normal and stop your inner critic from getting in your way. As women we are programmed to not share our successes for fear we are being big headed. share what amazing things you have achieved. You have worked bloody hard for them!

Really believe in you and your successes and don’t focus on the parts that didn’t go according to plan. plans can always be adjusted. You will reroute, don’t let your sabotage tell you otherwise.

Connect with and celebrate your Future Self –Set your goals in motion and remind yourself of what you will gain from the goal you want to achieve. Your future self depends on it. See my goal setting blog for actionable strategies for setting goals.

Getting to grips with the sabotaging tendencies means you get to appreciate yourself again and stop comparing your wonderful relevant achievements to those of others. Start celebrating the wins, and seize opportunities. You are as good as everyone else in that boardroom; you just have to believe it first. 

If you’d like help managing your noisy sabotaging tendencies, I am here for you.

Book a free discovery call with me and let’s get this under control together.

Contact me today for a free discovery call

Lets see if we are a good fit to work together

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